In and among today ……stumbled across some folk trying desperately to get access to computers in the attic of a quiet outlying building …..anywhere will do …ANYWHERE!!! …..my laptop has only intermittently accepted my ID card since the whole service ‘system’ was ‘upgraded’ in October ….I am not alone tho …I AM NOT ALONE!!!:D:D:D

Our ‘System’ has a lovely name too ….it can be masculine or feminine and I had considered  the name for one of the boys ….glad I didn’t opt for it tho ….can you IMAGINE!!!??? ….there would be NO getting away …..ANYWAY for the sake of clinical governance and protecting confidentiality I’ll call it ‘Rosie’ for blogging purposes ….don’t ask me why …it just popped into my head and certainly ISN’T!!!

So …..anyway ….one of the Dr’s comes in saying …..’Is there any LIFE on any of these things in here?’ ….to which myself and the person preceding me say ‘Yes …but sloooooooow it’s an excersise in PATIENCE’

After much clicking …..strange whirring noises …..and huffing and puffing going on in the dark corner ….said Doc finally pronounces ….

‘They keep saying …it’s all on Rosie ….but WHERE on Rosie? …how the HELL am I supposed to descover some secret avenue on Rosie which will lead me to the information I require if I cannot get on and no one will tell me where exactly it is?!!!! ……..does anyone KNOW!!!???….Ooooooh it’s INFURIATING!!! ……don’t get me started!!! ……it seems that we all HAVE to be somehow miraculously in tune with the consciousness of Rosie …..or be  f..cked’

My giggle fit was so bad I could no longer concentrate or function ……

I have NEVER seen or heard this particular Dr exude anything but well spoken calm …..Oh dearie me ….am still laughing now:D:D:D

Thought I MUST blog it to remember:D:D:D

And now I need to crack on writing up jottings into some intelligible form for one of our RARE and WONDERFUL secretaries to type up for me tomorrow ….GOD BLESS HER!!! ….and yep ….burning the midnight oil AGAIN!!!

I guess it’s a case of …..’screw Rosie and her clunking, blocking, conciousness’ …..resorting to the old fashioned ‘flow’ of paper and pen …..for now ……ooooooh I can FEEL that gavel swinging:D:D:D

actually I really CAN ……do I jump BEFORE or just risk being hit trying to make it to the line …..so close …yet so far …..hey ho!:)

Hmmmmmmm ….systems …..systems …..where does all this fit with ‘systems theory’ I wonder? …..sod it ….no time to think about that one …..

Drrrrrriiiiiiiiiiing!!! 1……smack ……up …..wash….dress …..stretch ……ommmmm

Drrrrrriiiiiiiiiiing!!! 2…….GO!

food….bags….kids….rush ….rush ….socks ….SOCKS!!! …..keys ….KEYS!!! ……..GO!

traffic …..kids ….radio…..traffic….mobiles ……drop1 ….drop2  ……rush …..rush ….traffic ….radio

No beds …..

Crisis board ….tick M ….tick C ….tick J …..tick S …..tick A ….tick F …..GO!

Zip ….zip ….knock …knock …..zip ….zip ….knock ….knock ……calls out ….calls in …..cross fingers …..pray!

ongoing? …….ONGOING!! ….zip …zip …knock …knock …..zip ….zip …..knock ….knock ….calls in ….calls out ……cross fingers …..pray!

Zip ….zip ….the Mill …..write ups……forms to fill ….the systems down …THE SYTEMS DOWN!!! ……thud …thud …..heads banging on tables ….f…ck ….sh..t …..Aaaaaaaagh!!!
Calls in…calls out …..urgent  request …..zip ….zip …..to the cells and back 

Systems on ….HURRAH!!!!…..tap tap …tappity tap
Report request  ……Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!
Stats ….STATS!!! …..points mean prizes ….or ……a big fat 0
Txt from boys

PICK UP THE BOYS!!!! …..zip ….zip

food ….bags …..laundry …homework ….cat ….rat …..taxi …..shower …..bed …….zzzzzzzzzzzzz
SHIT ….must finish the stats and start that report…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Drrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiing!!!! ……repeat

BlogFast

Ok ….to say I hit the ground running today’s an understatement ….managed to catch a LITTLE office time this afternoon tho:)

A date now set for the loss of 2 more ‘wondergirls’ …..that’s 5 in total since October:(
At least it’s been acknowledged we need agency cover ….we CANT meet all the demands ….and it’s looking frankly DANGEROUS

In comes M looking distinctly dishevelled and weary ….flops down at the computer opposite mine …  ruffles his hair ….peers over and says …..’Can’t take any more of this shit …I’m looking for out …..it’s  like it’s deliberate …..we’re just being screwed man’

and I don’t know what to say ….because I feel the same but can’t so I just kind of  nod in sympathy ….I think I say ‘Noooooooo’

I view M like a big kid brother ….all 6’4″ big beardie, bearie, swearing, wookie looking, rugby playing, irritable, wildly funny, bag kicking, phone throwing, stomping, considerate, caring male nurse with a Star Wars bag and r2d2 ring tone:)

Although much younger than myself we started here around the same time ….before the last reconfiguration we worked from what had been a cupboard in one of those shabby but  ‘functional’ 1970s buildings:D:D…..just 2 desks facing a beige woodchipped wall ….SERIOUSLY … thought we were in heaven when we landed in ‘The Mill’ ….it had windows ….HUGE ones:D:D

It was during my marital breakdown AND the call off of his then engagement ….NOT a happy cupboard at times:D:D…but managed to laugh and pull thro:)

But I don’t know how to get thro this one …..I CANT go just yet……I have a 2 year plan …..will I make it tho?
Make no wonder I feel like I’m about to step off some kind of precipice …..I don’t know what the future holds

Feel theres that 2 year line JUST in front now ….I’m almost there ….I can see it ….but theres a great big gavel hovering above ….waiting to come down on my head

Feel I’m running to beat the gavel ….will I make it?….keep running ….keep running ….you can see it ….you can see it …..faster,faster …BEAT that bloody gavel
…your NOT a hampster on a wheel!!

…..and now I need to get changed, grab some tea and chill:)