….another hiccup and back on …almost

This time it was me not Eric who was sticking and blocking … It seems I too have been ‘hacked’ by a virus causing a problem with my personal internet provider.
Been back to the GP today for test results etc …all clear ….thank god …so my tiredness and lump which has changed from pea to softer bump at both sides with accompanying sore throat is nothing more sinister than that …phew …lucky:)

Wouldn’t let me go back to work tho …no treatment other than R&R so sick noted till NEXT Monday!!!!….colleagues have been great but just KNOW I will have met some kind of target …..oh well so be it.

Thing is …I knew I was feeling tired in November …..thought I MUST book some leave in January … as let’s face it although I love Christmas it’s hardly restful is it?

Originally was going to book last week but my diary got full …ironic eh?

But you know what …no one is indespensible.

I was talking before about the lovely team I work with ….an odd mish mash of folk who found themselves thrown together during the last big ‘service streamline and reconfiguration’ …2 ..no I think it’s just over 3 years ago now when the govt brought in the Health and Social Care Act 2012 as part of ‘austerity measures’ and overt privatisation.

Another act came out last year the Care act 2015 …a final nail in the coffin really and further ‘streamlining’ and ‘reconfiguration’ which began in October and has left the job feeling untenable…since then …a further 3 colleagues have handed in their notice and gone … the basket ball playing ‘Wondergirl’ handed her notice in on Chrismas eve …and the ‘Wondergirls Captain’ handed hers in last Monday.

The public sector is being purposefully destroyed through govt policy …almost like we are being taken back to pre WW2 yet we live in a very different world!!!…I hope I’ve got that wrong but time will tell

Anyway …so read my ‘Reconfiguration’ poem again …and the jigsaw analogy and that’s pretty much how it feels.

Thing is …I’ve worked for over 20 years in various guises in this profession …although I give my all at work …particularly the direct work …I HAVE to now think of myself and what’s best for my sons.

In 2 years time I would be able to claim the pension I have paid into ALL my working life ..it would give me £500 a month …which is not enough to live on … here in the UK anyway
BUT it WOULD mean I could take a job which paid less than now …a less ‘front line’ ..’high risk’ job if you like …do something COMPLETELY different.

ANYWAY …we’ll see …from where I’m sitting 2 years feels like a lo
ng way away.
And RIGHT at this moment I’m thinking ‘sod it!!!’ …..take this damned virus as a warning sign
I ( and I’m not alone in this I know) have been working flat out …often working till midnight trying to keep up with the ever increasing admin …largely govt ‘service monitoring’ stats

I used to like to cook …insist on healthy eating …but lately its been shoving pizza or jacket spuds in the oven …I havent been looking after myself OR the boys ….and they’re just seeing me worn out at the mo …it’s NOT good

No …I was right all along …you should listen to your body ..,that lump …which is now 2 …has FORCED me to stop

During this R&R …I need to take stock
…get back on track with healthy eating etc (which I have already) and rethinking the 2 year plan …..and I’ve STILL got the 3 weeks leave to take before the end of March ….had booked first week Feb and had plans ….kind of hoping they’re still on but we’ll see:)

God I feel annoyed tho …it’s like that woman snatching the ball and being sent off just as the game was ending.

STILL …at least it’s not the REAL game that’s ending ….not yet anyway:) …and for that I’m THANKFUL:) …as …if nothing else …I need to try to ensure the boys get safely to adulthood …and I sometimes feel I come up wanting in that regard ….don’t always get the ‘work/life’ balance right somehow ….not sure I’m exposing them to the right options:)

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