…..and so ….

Things start to run into each other when I start blogging …get on a bit of a blogroll so to speak ….So …one of my favorite stories as a little kid was Peter Pan …..yep …..AND it was one of my favorite movies …….just zooming around having lots of fun ….hmmmmm a bit like a House Martin I guess :D:D

ANYWAY ……the one thing I could never get my head around tho was ….what on EARTH was it about Wendy???….I mean from where I was sitting she just seemed to spoil all the fun ….I reeeeeally understood why Tink got so pissed off:D:D

And maybe that’s my problem ……..Sam said to me recently

‘….the thing is Mum you’re really funny but your not like other folks Mums’

‘What do you mean?’ said I

‘Well we can never find a matching pair of socks and we’re always in a rush …..yep your impressions are GREAT and it’s good when we go out or watch a movie and stuff …..but ……maybe …..you could ….you know ….do with finding your Mum’

…… there was a seconds pause as our eyes met

…… then we both fell about laughing at the idea of ‘finding your Mum’:D:D:D

Me saying ‘Don’t you mean you need to find YOUR Mum

‘I’ve already got a Mum’ said he

‘But you told her she wasn’t like other Mums and to go find one’ said I :D:D

ANYWAY …..he HAD shouted me from the bathroom recently to declare triumphantly he had discovered a hair ……………..
My response was not to ask him where exactly it was ….he ecstatically volunteered that information ANYWAY :D:D….so I just shouted back
‘CONGRATULATIONS …may your obvious happiness continue and multiply’

Is this a NORMAL conversation between Mother and son I wonder:D:D:D

ANYWAY ….so I kind of thought him saying I needed to ‘find my Mum’ might be part of all that ….puberty and the dreaded adolescence starting to kick in …he’s never complained about me before ….we’ve always got on really well …….hmmmm either that or he’ll be talking about me in therapy one day

But he’s RIGHT …..I never fit in with the playground brigade ….and as I said ….I kind of grew with my children …..which is kind of fine untill rules and regs come in …. ie ‘school’ plus they had an uber organised and disciplined Dad around …..but no ….he’s absolutely RIGHT

I HAVE tried …….I DID pop into their primary school every now and again to read stories AND helped out with Christmas parties BUT my little section was always a bit of a riot with the kids and myself seeing who could do the best voices for characters or cheating at the party games to ensure everyone got a prize( I would make a RUBBISH teacher) …..even when Sam and his mate said they wanted to bake a cake for the school cake stall my response was ‘BAKE!!??’ ……..when I finally succumbed to the idea the boys then proclaimed they wanted to make a ‘Minecraft cake’ …..Oh ……not just a normal Victoria sponge then!!!

So yes ….I AM A TERRIBLE MOTHER!!!

And these days I’m wondering what I AM good at!!!  It seems I can no longer get away with declaring

‘Ooooh look at the sky!!??’ …..and sprinkling a little pixie dust ……they’re growing up …..I’m an embarrassment ……and I’m feeling a bit like THIS….actually a LOT like this

Which brings me back to Peter …….a typical bloke who likes to shake all the pixie dust out of Tinkerbells bum …….flirts with the mermaids and ……AND …….when push comes to shove ……settle down with a Wendy!!!

Is he INSANE!!??

The only reason he could fly in the first place was because of Tinks pixie dust

Hmmmmmmm …….I’ve been thinking of ‘goal setting’ recently ……you know ….telling myself I CAN achieve my dreams ……..just need to set goals to reach them …thing is I’ve never been good at ‘goal setting’ ……never felt I
needed them …just usually kind of inadvertantly fallen into things:D:D…….well I mean c’mon …look where I am today:D:D

But Ok ……do you know what my dream is right now??? …….hmmmmm do you? ……well the truth is I MISS my boys alternate weekends ……and they’re getting to an age they don’t want to play anymore ANYWAY ………well not with me:D:D:D ……….SO ……….my dream IS ……to fly off to Neverland … have adventures and battle with the Pirates …how the HELL am I going to achieve THAT!!??

Oh and only alternate weekends mind ….the rest of the time it seems I must focus on finding my Mum:D:D:D…….either that or at least ‘play the part’ a little like Sam has taken on Mr O’Connor’s advice of playing the part of ‘perfect pupil’:D:D:D

Hmmmm … maybe there’s another blog series in there when I get around to it …….never mind Peter Pan and the lost boys …this one maybe entitled ‘Fijay and the lost Mums’:D:D

Too many ideas and not enough TIME tho …or maybe it’s just not enough discipline:D:D:D

I’m always a bit like this the first night they’re not here:(