Ha!!!

I was going to call this post something else but I’ve JUST decided to change it to ‘Ha!!!’ not sure why

‘Ha!!!’….. IS a very good expression don’t you think? ….try it ….’Ha!!!’ ….see ….SEE!!! ….it’s a kind of feelgood expression isn’t it?:D:D

It’s been a lovely week ….the sun has shone and it’s been one of those weeks where everything seemed to go well :):):):)

Hmmmmm well actually its raining now and there was ONE day ….it was pretty funny really ….sometimes life at the Mill does take on a kind of bizarre ‘sit com’ quality and Monday was one of those days :D:D:D

It was SCORCHING !!! …..entering the top floor of the Mill was like walking into an oven ….SERIOUSLY … you know …when you open the door and the heat HITS!!!…on entering lifeless bodies were slumped at computers in various states of undress ……

In case you’re unaware ……the Brits are bizarre in summer …they don’t give a toss ….although they are perhaps usually known for being a little uptight ….just show them a bit of sun and they simply strip off without a seconds thought:D:D:D    oh …apart from SOME  men who don’t seem to be able to shed the socks …..it might take a few days then they will shed everything else ….YES ….but socks….. NO …..just pop a pair of sandals  over the top and Bobs your Uncle!!!:D:D:D

Oh ….and you may notice I don’t include myself here …..I’m not male ….do not have an Uncle Bob ….AND I like to think I’ve mastered the art of staying cool in hot weather:D:D ….yes it’s true ….ironically I believe it’s down to fabric and LOTS OF IT!!!:D:D….preferably natural fibres …fine cotton, silk or linen in the form of a simple shift or maxi dress to create a waft if you know what I mean ….yes ….yes ….the secret is in the WAFT:D:D ….I also carry a Japanese fan ( which some folk think a little odd but most are jealous of and like a quick waft of it themselves:D:D)…..always wear the hair UP ….oh,  and ALWAYS carry a bottle of water ….DONE!!!


Anyway …..so in I went to this furnace of HELL complete with the sounds of moaning, groaning and the incessant tap tappity tap of spasmodic typing and the whirring of oscillating electric fans periodically rustling and scattering papers which no one had the inclination or energy to pick up

It transpired that the air conditioning wasn’t working  but HAD been reported…..it should also be mentioned that those HUGE and GLORIOUS floor to ceiling windows of the Mill are ACTUALLY unopenable. Therefore, the glaring sunlight streeeeeeamed in adding to the overall ambience of the room:D:D

I joined the scattered bodies …alert at first …returned a few calls ..started typing …. taptappetytap ..tap ..tappitytap ……tap …..tappity ……tap …….tap …….tap ……ity ……tap ……….tap ……………tap …………………….tap……………………..tap………………..ta…………………ta…………………………………………………..Just as I was slumping in my chair …head about to hit the desk …eyes slowly blinking to a close ……

‘I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!…….IT’S F …ING CRAZY!!!……WHAT ABOUT HEALTH AND F…ING SAFETY!!!???’

And then there was a kind explosion!!!

I kid you NOT!!!

It was ‘M’ the Wookie who had been first to crack…….

as he did so there was a loud BANG!!! and shards of plastic SHOT across the room …a number hitting him square on the head with PERFECT comic timing

one of the fans had broken …just like THAT!!!….the plastic blades kind of shot off and shattered as they hit the metal guard causing a cascade of plastic fragments!!!
‘FOR FU..KS SAKE!!! …roared the Wookie … LEAPING from his seat and rubbing his head to  GASPS  echoing around the office floor:D:D:D

I think I may have been delirious in the heat ….but I just got one of those laughing fits that makes it impossible to function:D:D:D

Well c’mon no’one was seriously injured …..and ‘M’ IS funny……I’ve mentioned before this 6ft4  bearded, mixed martial artist, rugby playing nurse with a Star Wars bag, r2d2 ring tone … yep pretty blue language PARTICULARLY when under duress…but a heart of gold:D:D:D

Anyway ….it felt necessary to go outside for a break and a chat to cool things down a little ….

Whilst stood outside chatting he was doing this weird thing …..kind of crouching down then stretching to full height on tip toes ….you know that daft movement old fashioned pantomime policemen do ….kind of bobbing up and down and rocking on their heels saying …

‘ElloElloEllo ….WHATS all this then?’

Although this time it was ME that said   ‘What’s the matter? …why are you doing THAT!!???’

‘I’m F…king uncomfortable THATS what!!!’ said he

‘You mean the heat?’ said I

‘Yes ..Yes ..the heat ‘ says he ‘Your a female so you wouldn’t understand’

‘Ahhhh chafing’ said I ‘I DO have sons remember so I kind of ‘get’ where you’re coming from’

‘Yes chuffing chafing AND me tackle’s sticking to me a..se so it’s F…ING uncomfortable’ said he

‘TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!  said I

‘Well YOU asked!!! ….you women have NO idea …..you lot are alright …you can wear floaty dresses and you don’t HAVE tackle!!!

‘Hmmmmmmmm ok ……..take your point ……..nothing to stop you wearing a floaty dress if you really want to tho it’s the 21st century after all’

‘Bollocks!!!’

‘Precisely!!!’

‘I tell you what tho …I’m going to shave all my hair off tonight and come to work in shorts tomorrow  …… I can’t STAND it!!!

‘Good for you …… no socks tho SURELY?’

‘SURELY!!!’

On going back in …..the air conditioning man had arrived ……he wasn’t there long and finally declared the system had still been set to heating ………hmmmmmmm…..since then we have all had to take cardi’s in ………to quote the Wookie ……..’ITS LIKE A F…ING FRIDGE!!!’:D:D:D

If only we could open the windows:)

One thought on “Ha!!!

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