At the small bistro table by the window I sit, elbows rested, chin cupped in hands.
As I subtley shift position the half drained teacup rattles, belying the solid elegance of the bentwood furniture.
The view is obscured by the raindrops smattering the pane on this grey, blustery late summer afternoon.
I watch a droplet making its stop start vertical journey…. halted in its tracks for a moment by another… then continuing on its way
I’ve sat here a lot the last couple of days… browsing old magazines for images… patterns… snip, snip, snipping…arranging the shapes… …gently sliding them around like jigsaw pieces.
You see I know its your birthday soon and I remember last year….
I wanted to create something…. something which will stir your memory …. a reminder of the times we spent together…. when just for a while time seemed to stand still
When we first met I was struck by the smile in your eyes….most people smile yes…. but not many with the eyes.
You were kind of nervous and awkward at the begining… as was I
But it was there from the start…. it was there… an instant connection… the awkwardness quickly banished in that kiss…. that kiss which led to the sublime spaces we shared amongst the mess of life.
Yes I know you carry a burden… regrets from the past maybe… you have been hurt and done the hurting…. but I cannot forget…
The passion… electric…
Long languid hours entwined… making silly plans….
Playfighting with the pillows untill we fell in a tangled heap…. making each other laugh… like two children unbound by rules and responsibilty….. total freedom…. then falling into cosy slumber in our own little den
The shutters came down….. out of the blue and without warning…..no explanation but a mighty steel door slammed shut!
You said you loved me
You said we needed to free ourselves from our real world entanglements so we could be together
So I am sending you this gift as a reminder…. a gift for your birthday
A simple gift of childrens prose…whimsical and lighthearted…. and I have stuck my cuttings inside the sleeve as a collage… shapes and images
Things don’t have to be black or white…. all or nothing…. it can be colourful… beautiful
Your birthsign is libra…. the sign of balance
I don’t care what you’ve done in the past… but we had something good… something that could’ve balanced out the karma
I loved to see the smile in your eyes… I wanted/want to see them smile….
I sit here chin cupped in hands… watching the raindrops smatter the pane
Its a grey and blustery late summer afternoon….through the obscured glass I can just make out a slight break in the cloud on the horizon
( Letter not posted)