…..hmmmm and what about old ladies?

Well ….I’m sure you agree about both the Dalai Llama AND The Rev Desmond Tutu BOTH being EXCELLENT role models for their wisdom AND spirit of 3 …….but what about women? ….I am now approaching or actually IN my Autumn years ….hmmm no ….let’s say late summer ….for now:D:D:D

So I’ve been wracking my brains ….THINKING about old lady role models ….what sort of old lady would I like to be? ….now it seems I’ve scuppered ANY ideas of THIS:D:D:D


Which WOULD be my ideal truth be known as I AM a bit old fashioned believe it or not …but it’s a very rare thing indeed

However …..don’t loose heart ‘late summer ladies’ …or Autumn or indeed Winter ones ….I have come up with a FABULOUS role model for us ….sadly she died a couple of years ago BUT at the ripe old age of 102!!!…. AND with her slightly impish sparkle to the end:D:D:D

Born and raised a Muslim …married a Hindu ….GOOD GRIEF …STONE THEM!!!
Ha haaaa sorry …too late …they had a successful marriage and she had a long and MOSTLY happy life …raised children …had a successful career AND made everyone smile ….she couldn’t give a damn but had a WONDERFUL philosophy on life…. I am pretty certain she WON’T be damned to eternal hell …a spirit like hers will have whizzed off to become a cosmic ray or somthing :D:D:D ……get THIS for a quote

Yep …it’s Zohra Seghal …LOVE her:):):):)  English folks might remember her as the grandma in the movie ‘Bend it like Beckham’ amongst others …..just check her story on Wikipedia …and that was back THEN:D:D:D

I’m sure there will be many more you can probably think of ….feel free to add ….it doesn’t have to be anyone famous ….it could be a little old lady down the street or your grandmother …Emma was mine ( maternal great aunt that I have mentioned before and didn’t have children of her own) well actually it was Emma AND her husband Alf who had that rare thing of the couple above and passed within a year of each other:( ….blimey THAT was a double whammy) …at Emma’s funeral tho, everyone was sitting in sombre mood when all of a sudden this HUGE bumble bee flew in from somewhere. Buzzing around dive bombing everyone’s heads. It started with the Rev who stoically carried on so after a while it started on the rows of mourners..
I’m afraid I got a fit of the giggles and I rember my sister kept elbowing me and frowning which made it WORSE then the bee came to OUR row and even SHE was laughing ..we said afterwards that it was typical of Emma to have such pandemonium at her funeral with everyone bobbing about ducking the bee and my sister and I in hysterical laughter …oh … and from memory the organist was shocking too …sat there all serious whilst missing notes and playing off key:D:D:D …ANYWAY Emma would have LOVED it:):):):)

…maybe she WAS the bee:D:D:D

ANYWAY …as per on this ere blog am going off on a tangent and entering the personal

Would love to hear of any other old ladies from anyone looking in…let’s look foreward to the winter years:D:D:D ….maybe you ARE a ‘Winter lady’ …yep from here on in I am not referring to age:D:D:D …there are babies,children then it’s Spring,Summer,Autumn and Winter for phases of life for me from now on:):):):):):)

……and talking of books

I understand these 2 have done a collaboration ….hot off the press ….well last month …it’s called ‘The Book of Joy’….and my god do we need some of that in the world right now

Yep …some folks think they’re a little bonkers …but JUST look at them:D:D:D   They’ve been around a LONG time these 2 …throughout ALLSORTS of troubles and been very influential in their own quiet way … you HAVE to admit just by looking at them that they must be onto something …..look at the folk in the background:D:D:D …..it’s certainly a book I’m adding to my  own collection ….you can get it via AMAZON ….one of the wonders of the Internet:):):):):):)

The Power of Pooh final installment ….

So ….here we are at the end of the series …and in actual fact I NEED to implement its practice in some way:D:D:D ….and maybe more than just in the investment of my next notebook ….I’m thinking of a holistic lifestyle choice SERIOUSLY …I would LOVE to get all creative …wouldn’t it be WONDERFUL to build your own house like that? ….Hmmmmm yes somewhere near the sea would be just PERFECT:):):):)

(I’m loosing it aren’t I? …no no …am not …others are doing it so it’s not as outrageous as it might seem)  ….is there anyone out there who would like to start up a pooh project that I could join maybe? :D:D:D

There’s a book too ….yes indeed there IS!!! ….one of my early posts states it as one of my favorites …it’s called …..Ta DaaAH!!!


Now you may have read it already …it’s quite a popular book …it explains the concept of the ancient Chinese philosophy of Tao through the children’s book character ‘Winnie the Pooh’ ….basically at the time of publication it was making the concept more accessible to a western audience who because of our somewhat toxic lifestyle tended to struggle with it …like Yoga …complex in its simplicity ….simple in its complexity …the art of just ‘be’ ing ….if only we were ‘ALLOWED’ to eh?

ANYWAY …it’s a FABULOUS little book …the sequel being the Te of Piglet …kind of rounding off the yin/yan thing …although the second book is not quite as good if you ask me ….however, once read you can tackle a translation of the authentic texts if you like …it really ISN’T heavy if you enter the spirit of it :):):):):)

OK here’s a few quotes from ‘The Tao of Pooh’ just to get you into the spirit so to speak …


THERE!!! …..are you getting it now?:D:D:D

SO ….there we are ….I’ve kind of condensed this little series from what it first was in the pre blog days:D:D:D ….chopped a bit out and updated a bit too …but ANYWAY I’m sure you ‘get’ the gist ….and WELL DONE!!! if you have actually checked out any of these posts ….I hope you’ve enjoyed them ….got you ‘contemplating’ a little maybe?

What I …and many, many, many others LOVE about the ancient philosophies …the Yoga Sutra’s ( Indian origin) …….The Tao ( Chinese) ….Aboriginal, Native American,African and Pagan too I believe….ANYWAY they strip away all the hype …explain ‘life’for want of a better word in a way that takes it down to its very essence ….’essential’ teachings if you like ….the very ‘fundamentals’ that money CAN’T buy ……..you don’t NEED a figurehead to ‘hero worship’ or effigies and paraphanalia ….it helps if you have a teacher ….the best ‘teachers’ are practitioners who simply ‘guide’ like my original yoga teacher:):):):):):)…and I am STILL trying to find a replacement ..hmmmm but maybe I’m trying too hard
Anyway …forget Religous effigies, Designer Labels, Celebrity, Politicians, Money all that ‘stuff’ to blindly ‘worship’ ….Ok then don’t if you don’t want to BUT if you want to ‘worship’ anything …hold something in ‘reverence’ it might as well be THIS:D:D:D


…..as not only does it contain its own little universe of organisms …it can be utilised by man in MANY ways that are totally harmless to the ecosystem, tying it in with BOTH ancient and modern…think the aboriginal painting in a past post which depicts what modern science is starting to PROVE ….AND because we are ALL full of shit ..we HAVE to take a LITTLE time out daily to contemplate and let go …yes it could therefore, be safely said that accessing the power of pooh comes from within :D:D:D 😉

Phew ..that’s better all done and dusted then ..and no I haven’t just been for a Pooh …have been out today marching up hills in the fresh air tho just ‘be’ing LOVELY …have been fed and watered and ….mmmmmmmmm ….ok might go and contemplate now:D:D:D ….and then settle down to read:):):):)

The Power of Pooh 7

Yes …today I am getting back to the little series …..it’s a nice little distraction …makes me feel better and then I’m off up to the top of the hill to breeeeeeeeeath:):):):):):)

So ….this is just a little interesting snippet ….ALL animals pooh right?

WELL did you know that if snails nibble on coloured paper they ACTUALLY pooh in the said color ? …and ok yes …I too thought hmmmmm not sure how ethical it is feeding snails coloured paper ..using animals for experimentation and all that but here is something ‘pooh’ I came across which is rather interesting albeit somewhat suspect ….

So the snail pooh’s out a coloured trail ….which once dried can be wound into spools …which in turn has been made into floor tiles

…and ‘get’ THIS …snail pooh contains some kind of chemical which makes it GLOW IN THE DARK!!! ….if you had snail pooh tiles laid in your kitchen you may never again need to pop the lights on as you head for your evening snack …a pretty amazing thought you have to admit …but somehow I don’t think this one is going to catch on:D:D:D:D

Hmmmmm …but let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water here …it’s the fluorescence of the pooh that is of most interest isn’t it …we don’t want to be bungling up the poor snails constitution with paper do we? But I’m sure the pooh in its natural, clear fluerescent state could be put to some use …hmmmmmmm but what?

Oooh I have an idea …what about getting rid of bullets and explosives and using snail pooh to thrash out any disagreements …I don’t think ANYONE would fancy being covered in goo …and there would be no hiding as its glow in the dark

Ok ..of course that’s frivolous but I’m sure there will be some use for it!

The Power of Pooh 6

Now I first did this little series …..hmmmmm let me see ….it must be going on 2 years ago now

ANYWAY it seems I was not alone …..others were thinking along similar lines ..because although many folk may think I am stark raving mad I am in fact ahead of the pack:D:D:D …or at least alongside current thinking …and I can PROVE it!!!

In the summer of 2015 there was the grand opening of a rather slick and stylish institution …yes …in the country of Italy …world renown for style and sophistication ….there opened

Ta DaaaaAH!!!!

THE SHIT MUSEUM!!! …..dedicated to all things SHIT:D:D:D…demonstrating the versatility and aesthetic of this freely available and Eco friendly substance:):):):)

And THIS summer …the summer of 2016 ….a similar little venue opened on the Isle of White ….it’s catching on folks THE POWER OF POOH IS CATCHING ON!!! ……hmmmm well …I’m not sure the Isle of White is getting the aesthetics quite like Italy :D:D:D …BUT none the less they are recognising pooh as a substance to acknowledge and honor ….

As is the museum of Tokyo who take a different approach again …here you can actually experience what it like to BE a turd …a fun approach where you don a natty little hat and get flushed down the loo:D:D:D

ANYWAY ….it’s ALL good:):):)

Last couple of instalments to follow at the weekend … bet you can’t WAIT:)

The Power of Pooh 5

Fashion and beauty products ……yes indeed ….strut that stuff ….all the below have utilised pooh in their production ….with today’s technology it doesn’t have to be all sackcloth and ashes to live a sustainable and sustaining lifestyle ….we’re ALL a little vain aren’t we? ….it shouldn’t cost a fortune tho either ….that would just be RIDICULOUS ….this idea that the more you pay for something the better it is needs to be turned on its head ….we’re talking shit here afterall:D:D:D

Phew!!!…..I’m trying to crack on with this little series …one more for tonight then a little break:)

Oi ….. yes YOU big bully Mr T!!!

Hands OFF me breakfast!!! ……unless you’re ready to take it outside of course …and YES I mean it !!! (  says she ducking, weaving and shadow punching boxer style )

Bloody great big overstuffed mighty Tesco saying you won’t stock Marmite OR Hellmans …or ANY Unilever product ….apparantly it’s due to them raising the wholesale price due to the fall in the pound since Brexit….hmmmm yes well I reckon you can stand it Mr T ….your millions in profit …and if you won’t ?

Here’s my message to Unilever ….BUGGER THE BIG FOUR SUPERMARKETS ….this household hasn’t shopped in them for years ANYWAY …they got too greedy and were full of gimmicks and poorly disguised rip offs sometimes known as bogof’s ( buy one get one free et al)……No we packed in shopping in those places LONG ago ….it’s aldi for us ….no just sell direct on Amazon or something



I love my grub and am SICK of my favorites going to wrack and ruin ….the Cadbury’s Creme Egg anyone??? ….hmmmm yes ….do you remember THAT one??? ….sold off to some multinational who has changed the recipe ….shrunk the size …and doesn’t even sell in the 1/2 dozen, preferring packs of four …they’re eggs …EGGS ARE SOLD IN THE 1/2 or FULL DOZEN!!! …..GOOD GRIEF!!!!

And YES the SAME company bought the Terry’s chocolate orange and changed the recipe of THAT!!! ….Christmas ruined!!!

Where’s it all going to end say I

My GOD!!! ….don’t you DARE touch me Lea&Perrins!!!


and who owns Lyles Golden Syrup these days? ….or Birds custard? they’ve ALREADY faffed about with its packaging …tub over tin….what about me treacle pud?


Its not just about the ‘label’ …we’re talking quality product here ..it’s an aesthetic thing too …good solid recycleable packaging …you know …glass jars , tins, foil and paper wrappings….its not good ….NOT GOOD say I !!!!

ps) Just thought ….Aldi’s German …BUGGAR!!!:D:D:D

The Power of Pooh 2

Life can be REALLY shit sometimes can’t it? ….just remember when you are being dealt a bum deal that often, out of the best quality shit comes the greatest fertiliser. Cultivate an appreciation of the stuff and perhaps it can be turned on its head:):):):):)

Pooh comes in a variety of shades and textures as I’m sure you are well aware by checking your own ……

C’mon YES you do ….EVERYONE has a quick look before they flush …agreed? …..yes well I’ve no idea why we do it or what we are expecting to discover on so doing …….we just do don’t we?   ALL of us …..yes even royalty, the uber rich and allegedly beautiful people …they ALL crap and check it ….it’s a GREAT equaliser …. when I’m a little nervous …lacking in confidence …at an interview say ….I always do that thing where you imagine the folk having a pooh …..I’m sure you’ve heard this advice before ….and it works …trust me;)

ANYWAY ….look at the variety of pooh held in the palm of one hand here …..beautiful isn’t it :D:D:D


So ….in my imaginary world we are all crapping into a system which whisks it away, feeding into some kind of large scale Biofuel plant which in turn recycles and provides fuel in a number of ways ….gas, electricity, fuel for transport ….Hey it’s my blog ….I can change the world in my head if I like:D:D:D

In addition ( or part of… as biofuel plants waste nothing) we have the traditional use of pooh …the one we all know and love ….yes I’m talking about its use as a soil fertiliser …WONDERFUL stuff.

I understand animal dung and chicken shit are the pooh’s of choice in this arena …well if you want to dig it in raw…..this brings back memories of my father ( an allotment keeper) whose ears used to prick up at the sound of horses hooves:D:D:D …..yes there was a riding school, gypsy horse field where they would excersise with the trap AND the rag and bone man near where we lived ….when any equine passed our house my Dad would rush out armed with bin bag and shovel in the hopes of catching a prize:D:D:D   It was all HIGHLY embarrassing …but Dad …if you can hear me up there I’M COMING ROUND TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING!:D:D:D

Anyway …am digressing slightly SO …yep …whether it be a small garden, allotment or farm ….dig some shit into the soil and watch your veggies flourish …believe me …fresh ‘organically’ produced fruit and veg tastes completely different from the mass produced, chemical laden supermarket variety …I was brought up on the stuff and only realised once fending for myself :D:D:D

Oh and if you’re reasonably fit and live in a flat with no outdoor space …why not take a break from the insular, air conditioned lifestyle and consider WWOOFING …that’s World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms…payment is in kind not cash …in return for helping out on the farm you get to experience the lifestyle and if you like it …travel the world to boot …just the cost of airfares and a little time and hard graft:)


Hmmmmmm ….I was planning to take the boys during summer …didn’t get my shit together tho did I 😦
Sorry Dad …..am getting there tho ….am getting there ….in my head at least:D:D:D

The Power of Pooh

SO here it is …. The second series here at Blog On!!!  ….. this one as the name suggests is about the power of the brown stuff …. it is hoped that should anyone read this little series, they will never view their daily ablutions in the same way again ….or at least the substance of a particular ablute …..yes indeed ….call it a source of contemplation if you will ….a substance to be meditated on:D

Now you’ve heard the label ‘black gold’ for oil ….the substance nations have gone to war over such has been its value ….WELL that is SO old hat ….SO last Millenium …..THE substance that has the potential to have greater value NOW could be labelled ‘brown gold’ and such is its abundance you are ACTUALLY sitting on it!!!

SO ….going back to my post a couple of days ago whereby the British government have yet again overridden public opinion ……..nay …..MORE than that …..overridden the decision of the local authorities in Lancashire to turn down the application for ‘Fracking’ in the area ……and not to be someone ( I hope) that moans and groans without an alternative suggestion HERE IT IS!!!

Forget fossil fuels ….we’ve over pillaged those as it is ….and look at the mess we’ve made of the environment burning them ……no ….no …..it’s time we stopped all that forthwith and instead turned to …..

Ta DaaaAAH!!!

POOH POWER!!!

Indeed pooh can be utilised as fuel in a number of ways ……on a small ‘household’ level it can be dried formed into bricks or pellets to burn in a wood burning stove which could also serve to heat the water and cook.


In some countries animal dung has been used for YEARS ….formed into little patties baked in the sun and later used for cooking or heating


But on a grander scale it can provide fuel for whole villages and towns …..they call it ‘Bio fuel’ see below an illustration of how a biofuel plant works ….NOTHING goes to waste and indeed I understand it is carbon neutral ….it causes no harm to the planet RESULT!!!                 Why oh why in 2016 with all we know about climate change and OTHER ecological problems ….WHY are we giving the go ahead to frackers and NOT encouraging pooh power!!?? ( Or a mix of biofuel ….wind ….wave ….and solar?) If anyone can tell me please feel free to comment ….


We could run vehicles on it too …….How about THIS for a funky little motor?…..

Or if you prefer something a little more flashy and upmarket ……what about THIS? …..

img_9457

And here in the UK we got our first bus powered by pooh in 2014 ……..think it was in Brighton ……but ANYWAY …..surely it’s possible to create a streamlined public transport network across this little island…….and fuel it thus ….SURELY?

image

‘Waste not want not’ goes the saying ……….and I reckon there could be something in that.

Handbags at Dawn

Good grief ….the phrase above ALWAYS makes me laugh … it’s a take on that olde English way men used to settle an arguement ….you know

‘YOU sir have offended me’ …chap walks foreward and slaps the offender across the face with his glove

‘I challenge you to a duel ……choose your weapon’ …..usually a pistol in those days:D:D:D

However, here we are talking about the hospitalisation of the current proposed leader ( they’re changing leaders like underwear )of the UKIP party in Britain ….apparantly having a disagreement with another member at a European conference and suggesting they take it outside.

Now here in the north of England if a bloke says to another bloke when having a disagreement  ‘let’s take it outside’  it usually means they are going to have a fight

It is unclear what actually happened ….but Mike Hookham ( who IS a northern bloke) claims there was not a punch, not a slap NOTHING …a mere kerfuffle more like ‘handbags at dawn’ ….the protagonist Steve Wolfe has also now said it was nothing …photographed beaming from his hospital bed NAD ( that’s nothing abnormal detected) it now seems he is no longer in the running for the lead role of UKIP and they’ve had to wheel Nigel Farrage back out:D:D:D


British politics is INSANE just now ……even Tony Blair has been sticking his oar in ….apparantly concerned that there is no ‘middle ground’ the tories lurching further right as  Corbyn introduces today his newly reshuffled left wing shadow cabinet
I can hear the clatter of metal as we speak …..Oh it’s Tony …..he’s donning a suit of shiney armour in preparation for trotting in centre stage to do a little jousting with anyone who will let him :D:D:D

Oh ….and don’t worry …I haven’t forgotton ….my ‘The Power of Pooh’ series will be along in due course :D:D:D